Dear Journal,
We made it to town by the end of the afternoon, it really was a pleasant walk, we chatted like old friends, him telling me of his wife, of his son, me of my life as a cook, maid, clothes designer, and of course of her, my great protector since forever, my best friend, my love.

Johas (that’s my savior, I don’t think I’ve told you before) is really a big giant gentle bear of a man, in his mid sixties. Seems he’s seen and done it all. He told me of his time in the army when they were gathering men to go try end slavery in a nearby kingdom… hearing that I made sure I did not tell him that officially, I am still a slave in Haven.

We went to the inn where the man he knows is usually found, but he was not there, so we settled for a nice meal and rooms for the night, which I had to sneak some coins to the inn keeper for the meal and a couple of rooms for the night, Johas would never let me pay, he’s such a gentleman. At first Johas wanted to return to his cabin, I had to argue with him that he would never make it before nightfall. He finally agreed, and when he found I had already paid, he went so red, I could not help but burst out in laughter, that seemed to sooth him and he started to laugh too.

So tomorrow we’ll see the man and hopefully he’ll know where she went, time for me to get some rest, who knows the next time I’ll sleep in a (somewhat) clean bead, for I fully intend to get on the road as soon as I know where to go. I am going to be sad to part ways with Johas, he is such a good man, but I promised him to write to him, and reluctantly made him promise to write back.

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I am sorry I haven’t been writing yesterday, but I was in such a hurry… Let me recap, it will make more sense. Two days ago, Johas and me parted way right after breakfast, it made me a little sad, I have known the man for barely over two days, but I grew very fond of him, he reminds me of my gran’da, I really hope he’ll be fine, and I hope our paths will cross again…

Soon after lunch, the man I had been waiting for walked in and sat down to eat and drink. It took me a while to gather the courage to go talk to him, I don’t know why, he is a tiny man, maybe even smaller than me, built on a cat’s frame, with a face that don’t really stand out in a crowd, but he was the one who knew where I should continue my search for her. I finally walked up to the man, trying to appear as confident as I possibly could, but my hesitation and my stuttering shattered every ounce of confidence I had. So I nervously described her, and asked him if he knew of her, he told me that it was vaguely familiar, that maybe for a few coins he’d be able to remember better. Miss Sabel warned me about these people, and I wish I had been smarter, but I could not think at that moment, he knew something, so what if he wanted coins, I had more than I needed, I could part with a few.

It ended up costing me over two hundred pieces of gold before he started talking, the more coins I took out of my purse, the more he wanted until it was almost empty, but it was worth it, he told me he remembered her well, she went around from town to town for a while in the region, being very popular and all, because she was so talented, with such a great voice, but one day, she just left in a hurry in the middle of her set after seeing someone in the crowd or something, chasing the patron down the street, then came back, packed her things and left saying something about going back to put an end to it. That was maybe a year ago, maybe a little less…

Now I am so very worried about her. Where did she go? Back to Haven? Back to Scornubel? Dear Mystra, I do hope she didn’t go back to Scornubel, with all of them there, it would be suicide… So I am heading to Haven hoping that was her destination. I’ve been traveling all day yesterday and most of the night, I just can’t walk anymore, so I am setting up camp to sleep for a while and I’ll get back on the road at dawn, I should reach the port town the day after tomorrow, or the one after that, I am not sure, but I should be able to book passage to Haven. Please Mystra, keep her safe until I find her, I implore you.

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I… I don’t know what happened… I just know that I have to get away… I should keep running, but my legs are burning and I can’t run anymore. I hear them in the distance, they are searching for me. I will rest for a few minutes, write down what happened, just in case they catch up with me, because I fear for my life if they catch me.

I was a couple of hours out of town when this guy jumped in front of me, I vaguely remembered him from the inn, sitting in a corner. He was waving a blade at me asking me to hand him my coins. I told him to leave me be, to let me pass or else. He started laughing and walked toward me, I backed up a few paces, told him to stay back, but he kept advancing, so I casted a holding spell on him, thinking I didn’t really want to hurt him, I just wanted him to let me be. How stupid was I to think he was alone. As soon as my spell got a hold on him, I felt a sharp pain to the back of my head and darkness engulfed me.

I don’t know how long I was out, I woke up a few hours later, laying naked on the ground of a cave, my hands and feet tied to stakes in the ground, a gag in my mouth and some sinister looking man with tattoos on his face was casting something on me and I felt my magic drain away. The little man was sorting though my pack and had all my gold and gems in a little stack besides him.

I don’t know how long they kept me there, several days I think, I don’t know, it seems to be forever. They would stand around, 4 or 5 of them looking and laughing while one would be on top of me… I was so ashamed. Then, while they were sleeping, one came and laid on me, used me, and when he was done, I bit my lip and asked him to untie me, that it would be more fun for him… that I could do things to him. He hesitated, but finally did it, and when he did, I threw some dirt in his face and kneed him in his man-parts and ran out the cave. The only thing I could grab is my satchel on my way out and I ran and ran and ran.

Only now did I stop and inspect the content of the satchel, and found my diary, a pencil, my spare robes and a small knife… at least I have something to cover myself with. My legs still hurt from running, but I have to go, I hear them coming closer…

Lamna

Dear Journal,

Well I made it to town. It was not easy, I got caught by one of the men just outside of town, but I was not caught by surprise this time, and I had my magic. I am very sorry, I did not mean to kill him, but he came at me with a dagger... The good thing is that he had some coins, just enough to book a passage to Sharessia.

I don't now what to expect when I get there, that place has been a place of great joy, but also of great pain and great sorrow... I guess I'll know in two days, we should be there...

Lamna

Dear journal,

I have made it to Haven… well Sharessia, seems they changed the name of the city since I have been here last. So much has changed, so much is different, I didn’t recognize anyone, none of the familiar faces. I looked around, not knowing where to start, and I was so hungry, I didn’t want to go out of the cabin in the last few days… those sailors were eyeing me, I am sure they have bad intentions. If only I had coins left, I could go to the inn and get some food, I guess my first order of business is to find a way to make some coins.

Luckily, I stumbled on a very nice lady, she took me along on her rounds, she looks at the properties of some Lord, making sure none of his houses are broken into, and after she took me to the inn in Kortuga for a meal. I was nervous going there, from what I remembered, it is a very dangerous place, but she said she would protect me, so I felt somewhat safe. She is very nice to me.

She bought me some bread and cheese and made me some lemony water (that lemony water is very tasty, I think it is my new favourite drink…) and we went up to her room to eat and chat. I told her what I was doing back around, that I was looking for a friend (I did not name her, I don’t know why…). I was surprised coming into her room, clothes are laying around everywhere, and some other things all over the place. Cleaning is obviously not her forté… So I offered her to clean her room as thanks for the meal and the lemony water (Did I tell you, that lemony water is very yummy…), and she made me an offer, she will allow me to stay with her in her room free of charge, and in exchange, she I will cook for her, I’ll clean her room and repair her clothes. I agreed of course, how very nice of Madam (she likes it when I call her Madam, since we are special friends).

I took a nap while she was going to a meeting and I was so ashamed, when she came back, I was… playing with myself. I was sure she would throw me out on the street, but no, Madam just smiled and… well… she finished what I had started. It was very nice, and we cuddled in her bed for the night!

And this morning, I spilled some water, and since I could not find a rag to clean it, I took my dress (my one and only dress) and ruined it… but Madam was so very nice, she gave me one of her old dress so that I could fit it for me. Good thing too, she is much thinner than me. I will be able to give some, but it will still be tight, but Madam says it is very nice on me, maybe I should not wear it to clean the room later, it is a bit too tight to be comfortable while cleaning…

Well Journal, that is what’s new with me, for now, I think I’ll go have a nap before I clean Madam’s room, after, if it is not too late, I’ll go try to find Ursa, if not, I’ll go tomorrow, Madam deserves that I clean her room, after all she has done for me…

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I think I am getting sick, maybe a cold or something. It must be, I am tired all the time and sleep a lot, and I am always thirsty. At least I was able to start cleaning Madam’s room, it is such a mess, she really needed me, and I didn’t think such a thing was possible, but I think she is worse than Ursa. She has really nice clothes, but they are lying all over the place. I’ve made a neat pile and I’ll go wash them later today, right after I finish washing the floor.

Also I’ll go and get some things to make some soup for Madam. Oddly enough, she doesn’t want any vegetables in her soup, I have never made soup without vegetables, but if she doesn’t want any, I’ll do my best to do something good for her, maybe with some lamb and pork. She even gave me a bunch of gold for the ingredients. Madam will also check to see if I can use the kitchen, otherwise she will bring me a cauldron so that I can make the soup in the fire pit here in the room.

I also will try and see if I can find some trace of her, I already have been here a few days, and I haven’t looked really, but Madam requires my help, and she has been so nice and kind to me, offering me food, a place to stay and even offering me clothes to replace my torn dress, it is the least I can do to help her back, cleaning her room and doing small things for her. But when I got to the market, I think I’ll go to the church beside and see if maybe they have heard or seen her. Loads of people go to church, so I guess it is a good place to ask… I hope I get lucky.

Lamna

Dear Journal,

Well it has been a long day, Madam left early this morning for her work. I don’t exactly know what she does, except look at buildings for the Lord… I don’t remember his name, but for some Lord of Sharessia. All I know is that she spends most of the day out, and she doesn’t mind at all me staying here with her. She is so nice to me, and always makes sure I have all that lemony water I like so much.

After she left, stayed in bed for a bit before finally getting up and finishing to wash the floor, then I picked up her clothes and headed down to do her laundry. It is amazing the amount of clothes she has, probably because she doesn’t wash them and buy new clothes instead. Not knowing where to put them away, I put the neatly folded clothes on the freshly made bed with clean sheets. Madam is going to sleep well tonight in those.

After that was done, I headed out to buy some meat bits at the market for the soup, looking at the late afternoon sun, I could not help but smile, she used to love sitting by the water, looking at the setting sun and dream of adventures, of slaying beasts and saving the damsel in distress (which used to be me, naturally), and that reminded me that I was supposed to go look for her. With so little time left in the day, and I still had to head to the market, I decided to stop at the church to ask there. I know, Urs is not really a religious person, but with everyone who goes to church, maybe someone knows something.

I met with a winged woman there, I think she is in charge of the place, and unfortunately she didn’t know her, or heard about her, but she said she’d keep an ear out and let me know of anything she’d learn. Then she started to explain things to me, like good and evil, and how everything is just a matter of point of view. For a moment there talking to her, I was wondering if she was not right. But when I got out, I was getting confused again, so many people can’t be wrong, right? I mean evil is evil, even if they don’t murder and rape everyone, if you are evil, you must be doing something wrong. I wonder if the winged lady was evil? Well she did not try to murder me… and she did say she was going to try and help me, evil people don’t help people… she must not be evil.

When I got back to the room with the groceries, there was a caldron in the room, so I guess Madam asked and I cannot use the inn’s kitchen. That’s all right, the fireplace is a fine place for soup, so I started a fire, filled the cauldron and got started. I wish Madam would let me put some veggies in the soup, I like veggies, but still, as I sit here writing, waiting for Madam to come back to eat, I have to admit, it smells very good. I was unable to find all the spices I wanted, but I think the soup is going to be good anyways. I can’t wait for Madam to arrive, I am getting very hungry…

Lamna

Dear Journal,

Well Madam liked my soup, which makes me very happy. I massaged her shoulders while she ate, she is so tensed, she tells me it is because of her work. When she was done eating, she let me massage her back. She really seemed to like that warming massage oil that I bought.

Yesterday when I woke up, Madam had already left for work and the door was locked. That is so kind of Madam, she probably wanted to make sure I was safe and she locked the door. Unfortunately that also meant I could not go to the bathroom to pee. So I started to dust and clean Madam's things.

When I was done, Madam still hadn't come back, and I had to pee really really badly, so I sat down and crossed my legs. When Madam finally came back, I welcomed her, got up to hurry to the bathroom, but it was too late, by the time I had made only a few steps, I could feel my bladder starting to empty, and even worse, I crouched. Dear Journal, I was so ashamed, I could not help but hide my face in my hands, and yet could not stop.

Madam was no happy with me. I certainly understand why, I'll have to try and make it up to her. While I was cleaning, Madam told me that while she was in Sharessia, she heard some ruffian looking for someone matching my description! Oh dear Mystra, how could they have found me, how could they know I was back in Haven?

Madam had a good idea, she told me that she would buy me a new outfit and a hood to disguise me, and that she would allow me to act as one of her slaves, that would keep me safe. Once again, I owe her so much, she does so much for me, and this should keep me safe. The only thing is that I have to act like her other slaves, so that they don't see through my disguise, and also, since they know my name, she will call me LS, which is short for Little Sweetie, isn't that nice!!! And I am to call her Domina in public, which is what her other slaves call her.

Last afternoon, Madam came with me to try and look for Ursa, we went to an event at the Thayan Enclave, but unfortunately we could not find her there... And now my knees hurt from kneeling so much, but we had to keep up pretenses. On our way back, Madam showed me her work place, the Forced March they call it, what an awful place, I understand why Madam was so tense, I think I will offer to massage her more often, that place is just...

When we came back to the room, Madam told me that my body heat during the night was making her too warm, so I'd have to sleep on the floor, which is ok of course, I should have thought of that, I am so dumb... Madam needs to be comfortable to sleep! But she is willing to let me sleep by the bed, and she will let her tail hang by the side of the bed, so I am not too worried while we sleep, how nice of her, she always think of me first!

Lamna

Dear Journal

I have to tell you about what happened last night... Where to start... my mind is still a jumble of thoughts, feelings, actions that I don't quite understand...

As I told you, Madam has been too warm with me sleeping in the bed with her, so I have been sleeping on the ground by the bed. I wish my body wasn't so warm, I hate that Madam was inconvenienced because if me. But she was nice enough to give me a small blanket to help protect me from the cold. The nights can be so cold...

So I was sleeping, holding Madam's tail close to me when I had a nightmare. It felt so real... I was locked in a device like the ones where Madam works, my head and hands in small holes in a plank, I was naked in the middle of town, people were gathered around, pointing and laughing... there were disgusting men with their trousers down, rubbing their man-parts looking at me, laughing and there was a hooded figure behind me, that I could not really see, holding a whip and using it on me... I was hurting, terrifed, humiliated...

So I woke up screaming, then realize where I was when I felt Madam's tail coiled around my wrist, so I settled back to sleep, hoping I had not woken her up, I've been disturbing her sleep enough with my body heat lately.

I had just closed my eyes that I heard some trashing on the bed and I was jerked up on the bed, Madam's tail coiling around my chest and arm protectively, but she was so starteled that she squeezed me too much and I could barely breathe, she must have been really worried for me.

When I told her it was me, that I had had a nightmare, she seemed to relax a little, but she has cut her pillows and sheets with her dagger. It is all my fault, I'll have to find some way to find a few coins to replace her sheets, I wonder if silk sheets are very expensive.

Then to my surprise, there was another voice in the darkness of the room... it turns out it was Madam's property, Slave Boy, as he introduced himself, he was there, kneeling by the bed, completely naked, seeing me... I tried to hide myself, but with Madam's tailed still holding me, it was really hard, but then Madam laid me across her lap and covered me with my blanket, just my stupid breasts were still showing, and I think Slave Boy got some ideas, his man-part became hard as he handed me a glass of lemony water...

Then it became fuzzy, Madam was speeking so softly, so gently, I felt all warm and comfortable, Madam sat on Slave Boy's back, and told me to play with my lady parts, and I don't know what happened, before I realized, my hand was down there, rubbing my... I felt so ashamed, Slave Boy could see it all, and I just could not stop.

Then Madam said something about me accepting to be her property, to stop playing with myself like the whore I am, but I am not a whore... I just don't know what is over me lately... my lady-part is always humid... and then Madam opened her legs, showing me her own lady-part and told me it was what I really wanted, and seeing it, I could not help but agree, I wanted to taste it and before I knew it, I was kneeling in front of her, trying to taste her, but then she slapped me hard and had Slave Boy taste her.

After Slave Boy was done, Madam went back to bed, saying that only her property could know the bliss of serving her and gave me permission to taste her on Slave Boy's face and lips, and I can't believe I did that, but I did... I licked Slave Boy's face, his lips, even... in his mouth...

Dear Journal, I don't know what's happening to me, that is not like me to act this way... what would Ursa think of me... and yet, I find myself wanting to taste Madam, to know that bliss....

Lamna

Dear Journal,

It has been a while since I wrote, but I couldn't... something happened, and I am a little ashamed of it...

I told you about that nightmare I had, it must have been worse than I thought, I woke up in Madam's bed, and I had an accident... I peed in her bed, probably the fright of my nightmare... and I ruined Madam's mattress and her delicate silk sheets. I tried to clean them, but I couldn't. I was sure that Madam would kick me out in the street, but she didn't, she is so good to me, I don't know what I would do without her.

But Madam was very disappointed in me, said that I was not a good guest... and she is right, I cannot argue with that, she is right, I keep ruining her things, I already owe her so much, now I need to find a way to earn some coins somehow to reimburse her for the mattress and sheets. I don't know how I will do it... but I need to be able to.

So to show me how lucky I am that she took me in, she sent me to the Kortuga Slave Pen and told the pen keeper to make sure I didn't get out until she sent for me, to show me what could have happened to me. She said it would be for a few hours, but she must have gotten busy or something, or maybe these people who are looking for me were out there, because she left me here for very long, I lost track, maybe it was three or four days...

At least she made sure that some lemony water was sent to me, I had that, these poor people down here have nothing, they are dirty, and all we have to eat is some kind of tasteless, diluted, grayish oatmeal kind of thing (at least I hope it is oatmeal, I am not entirely sure). I wish that Madam had not put that ring in my back to shorten the chain on my nipple clamps, my breasts have been hurting so much, but I don't want to disappoint Madam again.

This morning Madam has sent for me, at last, but when the keeper left me in her room, she was not there, and Slave Boy was not there either, at least Madam left my journal out by the fire, so I decided to write while I wait for her to return... I hope she will be happy to see me... I also hope I don't disappoint her again...

Lamna

Dear Journal,

Well Madam was pleased to see me, and I was glad to be with her again, she gave me a gift... something in my... behind . It hurts, but it saddens Madam when I remove it... I guess I can get used to the pain, I would not want to disappoint her again.

She was so pleased with me that she rewarded me with pleasure, and with a new outfit. Honestly I preferred the one she had given me before, but unfortunately it got ripped out. This one is sturdier, made out of leather straps, it should be much stronger, but it is so tiny... it barely covers my lady parts and my behind, and another strap across my breasts, I feel somewhat exposed wearing this, but it is a gift from Madam, it must look good on me. I just wish she would take my measurements next time, this one is also a bit too small... when I wear it for too long, I can feel some parts of me starting to go numb...

Lamna

Dear Journal,

Madame and I went for a picnic on some island, it was really nice to get out of the house, the island was really beautiful and peaceful, and I made a very good lunch.

And also, Madam bought me a sewing kit, so that I can start to make outfits again! I am so lucky to have her take care of me like that... We'll need to go get some fabric, and I think I'll make her a dress... I think she would like that...

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I found her!!! Well to be fair, Madam found her! Turns out she was living in our old apartment all along, I feel so stupid not to have even thought of looking there. Though, to be fair, who knew that the key would still work, I mean we always had trouble making rent, I remember the landlord banging on our door so many times asking for his rent money, so many times we had to borrow money from Ali to make rent... I think we still owe her some coins. I wonder where she has gone, I haven't seen her since I came back...

Anyways, turns out that Madam and Ursa knows each other and when I blurbed out Ursa's name, it was a blessing, Madam knew exactly who it was I was looking for, and she took me to her this morning. Now Ursa was very happy to see me too, and you should have seen the apartment, it was a mess, dirty clothes lying all over the place, dirty dishes on the counter tops, empty cubbards and shelves, it is a wonder how she survives by herself, some things don't change! It was so great, we didn't spend a lot of time talking and catching up, we'll have to do that another day, but I am so happy right now, sitting at her desk, watching my Ursa sleep soundly.

It seems that sometimes, Ursa entertains people, so when there is a bow on the door, I am to find another place to sleep, though Madam was gracious enough to tell me I could go stay at her place. I wonder what that means for Ursa and I... I could already feel her more distant years sgo, just before we had to flee Haven, and the fact she did not join me in Silversun... I fear that the time when Ursa and I were lovers is passed, and if it is true, it will break my heart. Of course I will always love her with all of my heart, but I fear she has moved on... we'll see I guess.

Anyways, I should try and get some sleep... should I crawl in bed with her? Or should I just sleep here in the chair, or take a blanket and sleep on the floor... I wish I knew where I stood...

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I am not sure what to think... I fell asleep on the chair last night, well, I do believe the sun was close to coming back up, so is that really last night or is it just really early this morning, I don't know, not that it matters much. Anyways, I woke up in bed, Urs picked me up, removed my clothes and put me back to bed, where I woke up when she came in.

At first I was really happy to be in her bed... I thought that everything was going to be just the way things were before we left, but alas, it is not the case. I woke up very late when Ursa came back home, her clothes all ripped out and she was all buised, I thought she had been in a fight, but it turned out it was her lover who was... well very rought it seems. I mean I don't mind Urs having a lover, I never have, I know she needs to be with men, she would never be sexually content being only with me, and I have accepted that.

So I made her breakfast (with what ever was left in her pantry, which was really not that much... really it is a surprise how messy she is, good thing there is a inn where she can eat, she'd starve to death) and we talked. While she is really happy that we are reunited, she told me she didn't want to be with me that way... it broke my heart, she tried to be nice, but basically we are friends and no more. She did say that maybe in the future, so all hope is not gone. I just know that I love her with all my heart, and if it is just a maybe, possibly some day, I will take that.

In the mean time, I will have to go get some food and spices at the market, and maybe some fabric to make Urs some outfits, I am not sure of the state if the dress... I'll to my best to fix it, but it is so torn... I also have to find a job, earn some coins, I will have to pay my share of the rent, and also I still owe so much coins to Madam, I will have to pay her back. Maybe I should go see that Lord Falerin, both Ursa and Madam work for him, maybe he has a job for me, even though I in no way strong as Madam, and I can't sing like Urs... maybe he needs a cook or a tailor...

Lamna

Dear Journal,

Being back in *scratched - our* Ursa's apartment is a little bit weird. At first, when the door open and I saw Ursa in there, a ton of memories came crashing back. All the good times we had in there, that party where Seledri and me did that silk scarf dance, all the times we just sat down at the table, Urs and me, chatting about this and that, of Ali, who bought us that apartment because we never could have afforded it otherwise, even my oven, my pots and pans... well Ursa's pots and pans now I guess, of the first time Urs and I made love, in that great big bed in the back, of all those mornings we just stayed in bed cuddling. Happy memories. I wonder where Ali is now, I don't think she lives here anymore, I haven't seen her around...

There were bad memories as well, like the landlord banging on the door demanding his rent money while we had no coins, that time when Ursa almost died, she laid there in bed for weeks, so feverish that I thought she would not make it, but not my Ursa, she is so strong, nothing can keep her down. Looking back, I don't think I would change a single thing. I wonder if Ursa remembers all these things when she sits here alone too.

I really have to ask Ursa for a key again, staying in here when she is gone, because I can't lock the door behind me is not good, too many memories in here, I can't be left alone with them all the time, or I will go crazy.

Ursa gave me some coin and we went to Kortuga where I bought some fabric, I'll try to make a new dress for Ursa, and one for Madam too, I think Madam will be very happy, Ursa, well, I might have to force her into the dress, but she needs one, the one she has now is so torn, I don't think I can repair it anymore.

Oh, also, Slave Boy... Dax... yeah, Ursa does not like when I call him Slave Boy, even if that is what Madam told me to call him... well anyways, Dax is back, I saw him outside the club where Madam works. Seems him and Urs know each other, and it seems he has been cooking for her, I am glad she had someone to take care of her. We'll have to chat one day, Dax and I, and maybe organize a dinner that we'll cook for Madam and Ursa, yes, that is a great idea, I'll have to ask Ursa and Madam when I see them.

Lamna

Dear Journal,

This afternoon, Ursa came back and we talked. We talked about a lot of stuff, like she thinks she saw Ali at the tapper, I'll have to go see, it would be great if Ali was here, with all the changes that happened to Urs since we... went our separate ways I guess, well I could use another friend, and Madam seems to be busy, I've been to her room twice, but she is not there. I thought about asking the inkeeper to let me in so that I could clean her room, but I don't think they would.

We also talked about her new flame, Karner she called him. He be the one that ripped all her clothes the other day, but she seems to like him, so I guess I'll try to be fair, though I'll have to warn him to be more cautious about ripping her clothes off, I am the one having to fix them back up again.

I don't know why, but Ursa keeps telling me that Madam is bad news, that she is not nice, that I should be weary of her, but she always was nice, always was helpful, always, despite all the accidents and incidents, all my mishaps and my misbehaving. She is also the one who found Ursa for me, I owe her so much, not to mention a lot of coins for that mattress and those silk bed sheets... I really have to go find a job and earn some coins so that I can pay her back, and that I can pay my share of the rent to Urs, it is not right to let her pay everything, I am a big girl. I think I'll go post something on the billboard, maybe someone needs a maid, or a cleaning lady, or a cook, or a seamstress... hopefully I can make some coins, I really need it.

And then, well I guess it had to happen, as she talked ill of Madam, I asked her not to do it, and then I said something I should not have, I accused her to leave me, to abandon me in Silversun alone. I should not have, but she does not understand that I love her... I love her so much, like she loves her paladin... or knight... or what ever. I should not have accused her so, and well... angry words were said, then we (mostly me, as usual) cried, we hugged... I think we are all right, but still... I love her as much as I always have, but she doesn't. She loves me like a sister, like the best of friends that we always have been, but nothing more. Will that be enough for me, honestly, I don't know, I guess we will have to see.

So she went for a walk, saying she would be back in two hours, so I went out and bought stuff from the market and made her an apple glazed ham with all the veggies, she used to love that, but now, as I am writing this, it is almost midnight and she is not back... I had to take the ham out of the oven so it would not be ruined, I ate a few veggies because I was really hungry and I am waiting for her to come back...

Lamna

Dear Journal,

Well I ended up going to bed. It was a couple of hours past midnight, and I could not stay awake anymore. I left the ham on the table so that Urs could eat when she came home. And when I woke up this morning, she was in bed, still fully clothed, a half eaten piece of ham by her side. I'll have to wash the sheets, there is a huge stain on her side of the bed.

I was a little mad, so I decided to go for a walk. So I went and posted a note on the billboard, in hope to find work. In the late afternoon, I went back and there was a note, someone wants me to find essences for him... I don't know anything about that. So I went for a walk in the valley, and met up with someone, a nice lady. Funny thing, she didn't want me to call her ma'am, but she was ok with calling her Madame... I wonder if Madam would mind too much if she knew. Anyways, turns out, she might have a job for me. She told me she might come by the apartment to discuss it.

So I came back, Urs was not there anymore and the door was locked. She had told me there was a hidden key somewhere, I just don't remember where. She finally came back, I wanted to tell her how mad I was that she kept me waiting. I mean, I don't mind if she stays out, but at least she could have told me, so that I would not have wasted a ham, and waited for her all night... but it turned out she had a very bad night... so I gave her the new dress I made for her, it is going to require just a bit of adjusting. And then she left, right after giving me my key, seems she got a hold of the landlord after all.

About an hour later, there was a knock at the door. I thought Ursa was back and had forgot her key, but it turned out it was the lady for the afternoon. She told me she might be interested in hiring me, but she is not looking for a maid or seamstress. So I cooked her some fish, and she liked it. So she offered me a job as cook, research assistant for her friend and plaything... I told her that I had promised Urs that I would not do that kind of thing anymore... and she was nice enough to hire me to be only cook and research assistant for her friend, Miss Minny, and she will pay me 500 coins per week, as long as I work hard. And she even paid me a whole month in advance. That is awesome, that means that I can cover rent for this month and next month. Ursa came back just as I was serving them desert, but she went straight to bed. Oh, and my new employer does not want me to call her Madam, I am to call her by her name, Vairipani, or Vairi... That will be weird, it seems wrong to call her by her name, maybe I can call her Boss, or Boss-Lady... Oh, and I will have to wear a uniform, they will give it to me tomorrow, I wonder what it looks like.

So I go to bed happy tonight, I have a job, I'll be able to pay my share, and save some coins to pay back Madam, I think I'll go cuddle with Urs, she is sleeping, she won't mind and it will make for an almost perfect day. I just need to get her out of her clothes, she has gone to bed all dressed again.

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I cooked my first meal for my new employers today, and they really liked the food I made for them. I am really happy, the lady Vairi and Miss Minny are really nice, and it is a good job, with good coins.

They gave me my uniform that I will have to wear... It... well... it has really nice colors, but it is really revealing. The Lady Vairi told me that it is fine, because I am very pretty and I should not have to wear it outside anyways, so... I guess it is all right, besides, we need the coins, so I don't have much of a choice. I just have to make sure to hide it from Ursa, or she'll throw a fit. She does not always understand that I want to contribute, that I don't want her to pay for everything all the time, but I don't have her talent, besides it is just as a cook and a research assistant, it is not like I will work in a brothel or something, it is a legitimate job, that pays good coins, I just happen to wear a uniform that... reveals more than I would prefer, but I will not say anything, I don't want to risk angering my employers and have them fire me.

What ever happens, I'll have to endure. Grown ups have jobs and pay for their stuff, my dad use to tell me all the time, and so did Urs, all the time. So what ever I need to do to keep the job, I will do, even wear my uniform!

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I haven't seen Ursa is almost two days, I don't know if she is just very busy with all her things or if she is avoiding me because she is mad at me for cuddling with her while she slept.

I know she told me she did not want to be with me this way anymore, but the other night, I felt so lonely, and she was sleeping soundly, so I didn't think she would notice, she is a sound sleeper after all, but I forgot that she wakes up so early... But still, to have fallen asleep my arm around her, pressed against her back, my face in her hair, feeling her strong protective form against me... I hope she is not mad at me.

I made dinner for my new Boss yesterday, Miss Minny could not attend, she was busy with something. I hope it is not magical research, I am supposed to be her assistant too, anyways, Boss was telling me of her job, turns out she does piercings and tattoos and such, and she... well... she pieced my nipples. Dear Mystra it hurts, and now I can't wear my bra because they are so sensitive... But Boss likes them, she said they make me look pretty. I wonder what Ursa will say... I wonder what Madame will say.

Speaking of which, I have finished a dress for Madame, I'll try and go give it to her tomorrow, I hope she likes it.

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I have been to see Madame yesterday, just in time it seems, she is moving to Sharessia, that makes me happy, we are going to be closer, no need to take the boat to go see her, and she lives in a huge house, and magnificent too! There must be room to house twenty in there... I offered Madame to go help Slave Boy to clean it, since he will be alone to clean that huge house, plus I think he likes me, we got along together well. I am pretty sure we could be friends, that will make him happy I think if I go help him.

I gave her the dress I made for her, and she liked it, my measurements were off for her shoulders (she has such wide and strong shoulders, I shouldn't be surprise, she is so strong after all) and at the chest... Seems I underestimated the size of her... well... anyways, nothing catastrophic, I can fix it. And now, with my work, I can afford better fabric for an even better dress.

Speaking of work, it is going well, I think my new Boss and Miss Minny like me, Boss even gave me a gift, a pair of rings for my... nipples. They kind of hurt, but Boss tells me the pain will go and they will become pleasurable, and also that I look pretty with them, I wonder what Ursa will say, she is not a big fan of tattoos and rings and such...


Lamna

Dear Journal,

Miss Minny stopped by for a social visit today, I kind of like her, she is shy, and nice... and also, I think she is a witch, like me, she didn't stay very long, but it was nice to have someone stop by, since I haven't seen Ursa or Madame for a few days, it has been so very quiet... I wonder what I have done...

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I came back last night to find a note from Ursa telling me not to worry, that she was all right, just bumbling around, not to expect her for dinner or at night, it's been many days since I have seen her, I hope she is not planning on leaving me again... I don't know, I might just go back to Silversun if she does... Miss Sabel did not leave me, she was often disappointed in me, but she did not leave me...

I have not heard from my employers either, I hope I haven't disappointed them too... if Ursa leaves, and my employers stop employing me, I'll either have to return to the crown pens, or back to Silversun, hoping no guard does not stop me, I am a slave after all..

I finished a new dress for Madame, but I haven't seen her either in a few days, it seems... I don't know... everyone is leaving me... maybe it is me... maybe I am not worthy of having friends... or lover... or even a owner... I maybe destined to be alone... I hate being alone.

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I... I don't know where to start... At the beginning I guess, so yesterday afternoon, I finished Madame's dress, and even if I hate the Forced Marched I was decided to go to her place of work to give it to her, surely she would not avoid me there.

So I got there, and she was not outside, I went in, just in case she was inside, and this lady comes in behind me asking me where I am going, she must be the door checking person and when I asked about Madame, and she told me that she left Haven for good, and somehow, I know it is true... Madame left me, just like Ursa left me... I could not take it and I just broke down in tears.

The lady informed me that she was Madame's replacement, and anything I wanted to ask Madame I should ask her... and also that everything I owed Madame I now owed her, and it seems it is a great amount of coins, and she did not believe that my job would be enough to pay her back. She did bring me back to her room to explain that I had to either pay her, or she'd have to turn me in... I... I couldn't bear that, so I begged her to give me a chance, that I would find a second job and that I would be a good girl, that I would pay her back, and as a token, I gave her Madame's dress. She considered things a bit and told me that she was looking for a cook and maid for her household, and that if I would enter her service, she would not turn me in. I didn't have much of a choice, if I could not pay the rent on our apartment and got us evicted, Ursa will never come back to me, so I accepted. I will be a good girl, I will be the best cook for Boss Vairi, the best research assistant for Miss Minny, and I will be the best cook/maid for the Lady Ting, I just hope that I can do it all, and please everyone... life can be so hard.

Of course the Lady Ting is smaller than Madame, so I had to adjust the dress, fortunately the Lady Ting's friend had some pins and I will need to fix the dress, and to celebrate my new employment, the Lady Ting gave me a bottle of brandy. I know I should not have taken it, Ursa keeps telling me that I should not drink, that I cannot hold my liquor, and... well... I feel a little ashamed but I don't remember quite what happened after, I just know that I woke up in an abandoned building, and I was wearing my new uniform, but I... I don't have the panties, and I am wearing some metal thing that I cannot take off, and there is a man at the door telling me that I can go out only 3 times a day for my other job and any chores the Lady Ting has for me or they will have to turn me in...

What have I gotten myself into... I... I will have to check with Miss Minny and Boss Vairi, try to work something out. What ever happens, I must not disappoint Ursa, I cannot let the landlord evict us. So far the rent is paid for the next month, but I have no coins to pay for the month after that, and if Ursa does not come back in time, I will have to find the whole rent by myself.

Lamna

Dear Journal,

The lady Ting insist that I stay with her, that way I'll be able to better do my duties, I guess in some way it makes sense, and also she decided to try and help me control my... urges, that is nice, I suppose.

She must care for me, she sent a physician to check on me, make sure I was not sick, it was just very embarasing, he... he looked me all over, and I mean all over, the good news is that I am in good health. I could have told him, he didn't have to probe me all over like that...

Lamna

Dear Journal,

I know I haven't written anything in a while, but the Lady Ting doesn't want me to stay in our apartment, she wants me to stay in that dirty place, I don't know why, and I don't want to bring my journal there, so I write when I wait for Boss Vairi to arrive for dinner...

I have been "working" for the Lady Ting for a couple of weeks now to try and work down my debt to her... well... it is mostly staying in this dirty place, she is not having me do any work, so my debt must not be getting much lower. If at least she would being me something to clean this place, it wouldn't be so bad, and it would keep me busy, I don't know what I am supposed to do... Mystra I miss Ursa...


Boss Vairi has asked me to start thinking about a multi course meal with a calishite there, that will be nice, I wonder if she has some event to celebrate or if she is just in the mood for a grand dinner, but I am thinking of maybe a five or seven course meal, that would be great, but it will also take a few days to prepare, I hope the Lady Ting does not have a problem with that.

Lamna

A note is left in the apartment that Lamna and Ursa share

Dear Urs,

To be honest, I have been trying to dodge the landlord, since I do not have the coins for rent... I guess it had to happen sooner or later, I am just not good enough to take care of stuff like that...

What will happen to us? Maybe I can ask my boss if she can help? What do you think? Should I just start packing? Not that we have much to pack, or anywhere to store it...

I am happy you found someone to do artsy stuff with, hope you are having fun, I miss you tons sweetie, let me know when you are next in town, I would love to see you and hold you in my arms. This place is not the same without you.

Lam